You never notice when your kids start using language properly to reason. My twins are one and a half and they have started talking. They have babbling conversations with each other and with themselves. I recognise some sounds that could be words. They also say very specific words accompanied by actions; like 'hat', 'wrap', 'get down', 'ducky', 'jacket', 'Bubu' (an app about a cat).
Somehow they go from these stumbling attempts at communication, to having full conversations with you, sometimes using bigger words and phrases than you anticipate. My almost three year old is saying things to me like 'that could be dangerous', 'how exciting' and 'don't worry, it'll turn up'. She also said 'Jesus Christ' and 'the bloody wasp will get us'. I'm working on being a bit more aware of my language around her till she's old enough to understand context. Her language skills have developed immensely since starting daycare six months ago and she comes home and tells me stories about her day. I don't even listen to the details much, I'm so enthralled that suddenly she knows how to speak.
She has this way of joining a whole bunch of random sentences together with 'but' and 'and so'. I can listen to her logic and story telling for hours and look for queues about how she is starting to describe and relate to the world around her.
This morning we had a moment. It's not the first time we've conversed, obviously. We talk a lot. I reckon I talk too much sometimes. I describe and explain everything to the girls and I'm well aware that most of the time their faces are looking back at me blankly and they're drifting off into their own thoughts or trying to change the subject (my eldest is great at this, especially if I am giving her a lecture about something she did that wasn't right, like pushing her sister or snatching toys). I'm sure they're taking it all in on some level. My husband is the silent type. He doesn't go into detailed analysis of every little thing like I do and his relationship with the girls is less verbose. They are very lucky to have a good balance.
So this morning I was dressing my eldest. We were talking about one of her favourite toys at the moment, her stuffed Hootabelle. The Giggle and Hoot Show is the official show on the ABC that hosts the ABC Kids channel. We are a TV family. It is on every day, all day. So sue me. We don't vegetate in front of the TV mindlessly. That's not how it works. It's on in the background. Sometimes the kids join in with the songs, sometimes we ignore it and go to another room. The kids learn a lot and it creates an ambience of joy and music and learning and colour. We live in a unit. We don't have a yard. I take them out regularly, but when we're home, the TV is our mate. After they go to bed, it stays on. Regardless of what we're doing, the TV stays on til we go to bed too.
We were naming all the characters on the show. They are mostly owls. We went through all of them, but she seemed to think we were missing someone. I argued that no, that was it and we went through them again.
'The one with the mustache', she said. I thought for a second and went through them again. No that was it; Hoot, Hootabelle, Hootley, Giggle Fangs, Mini Hoot, Giggleosaurus, Giggle Paws. There were a few other randoms like when they do the Xmas special, but I knew she wouldn't remember those ones.
I tried to convince her that it was all the characters we knew and it was time to move on, but she wasn't satisfied. I could see her face contorting in an effort to try and remember. It was like I was witnessing that first sense of frustration you get as you search your memory banks for something you want to bring to mind, but just can't. As we chatted away, it suddenly occurred to me what she meant by the mustache; she meant the beard.
'The Pirate one, Hootbeard!', I exclaimed. Her face lit up!
'Yes, Hootbeard!'. She was thrilled. We had a moment. We looked at each other relieved that we remembered. I've had moments like this with so many people. You're deep in conversation and you want to say something important and relevant, but it's just impossible to recall. How many times have we instantly pulled out our phones to Google it? That actor's name, that ingredient that can substitute sugar, that bit of legislation, the name of that restaurant we went to.
This morning I shared that with my baby and I don't know why, but it made me teary. It was special and I hope the first of many candid conversations we will have that leaves us feeling like we're on the same page.
Then I spent the next 15 minutes sifting through her sister's shit with rubber gloves on, trying to find the little white plastic thingy off the end of the coat hanger, that she swallowed yesterday. It's a life of extremes.
